Armenians Invented Clothes

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By Mark Gavoor, Glenview IL, 28 October 2010

  1. Back in June of this year, the world’s oldest shoe found in Armenia
  2. Now, today, I just learned that the world’s oldest shirt was also found in Armenia 
  3. There is only one conclusion that any Armenian can come to:  Armenians invented clothes.
Didn’t we all learn in our Armenian School days that "Armenians were inventing clothing, while all other peoples were either swinging from trees or living in caves?"  Oh the folly of youth!  We just assumed that was all hyperbole.



By Mark Gavoor, Glenview IL, 28 October 2010

  1. Back in June of this year, the world’s oldest shoe found in Armenia
  2. Now, today, I just learned that the world’s oldest shirt was also found in Armenia 
  3. There is only one conclusion that any Armenian can come to:  Armenians invented clothes.
Didn’t we all learn in our Armenian School days that "Armenians were inventing clothing, while all other peoples were either swinging from trees or living in caves?"  Oh the folly of youth!  We just assumed that was all hyperbole.

There was even writing on the shirt, and this is astonishing, that said:
 
"See you at the 5899 Olympics in Armavir!"
 
Not only shoes and shirts… we invented athletics… clearly.
 
It was not until 4520, however, that Goolba the Elder from Garni invented socks… he was quoted to have said:  "The heel, darn it!  We had to find out how to sew the heel.  That was the key."
 
The greatest innovation in clothing was from Wardik the Magnificent of Djermuk.  He invented the first boxer shorts.  At first, these so called “wardiks” or “vardigs” in western Armenian were used simply to make pants (invented of course by Shalvar of Sunik in 4633) last longer and look better.  Wardik’s direct descendent and good friend of mine, Mardik Pambagian from Springfield, MA, always lament’s “If he had only patented his invention like his mother told him to…”
 
Women were not left out of the act by any means.  We are all aware from our Sunday School lessons that one Digeen San-toukht of the Ladies Auxiliary of Aragats invented toilet paper in 2877. Who can forget her famous quote, "I jus vant everyone smell better… dats all."
 
I believe nearby the excavations where the oldest shoe and oldest shirt were found, archeologists will find the ruins of the oldest cafe with the oldest sign that says… 
  • No shoes
  • No shirt
  • No service 

They might even find the oldest village with the oldest haberdashery, the oldest outlet mall, and I wouldn’t even be surprised if we found the oldest coffee shop.  We did invent coffee didn’t we?  We most certainly invented commerce. 
 
Clearly, we are the cradle of all civilization. 
 
Oh… the mummified goat?  I am doing more research on that.

Previous articles by Mark Gavoor:
Our Last Name is Gavoor
Prayers at Akhtamar and in Ani
"The Lost Cyclist"

 

 

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8 comments

    1. Armenian Inventions
      Maria Cristina

      I am sure if the item is old enough and we do not know specifically who invented it…  I think we can safely assume the items in question were invented by Armenians.  : )

      Mark 

  2. Color TV
    One day, when I was very young, my grandparents hosted a dinner for a visiting priest who spoke not a word of English–or so we thought. After a long and tedious dinner filled with polite Armenian conversation about all things Armenian, the priest turned to us restless kids while the table was being cleared and said these memorable words: "De Armenians Dey Inventit Da Calar TV."

    Spread the Word.

    1. Color Television
      Ara,
      The visiting priest was indeed correct. The half-Armenian, half-Russian inventor of color television was none other than Rupen Cathodovich Avedisian.

      The RCA company was named after Rupen’s initials, though most people falsely believe that it stands for Radio Corporation of America.

      Humor aside, Hovhannes (Ivan) Abgari Adamian (Armenian: Հովհաննես Ադամյան: Feb. 5, 1879, Baku; Sept. 12, 1932, Leningrad) was an Armenian engineer who was responsible for more than 20 inventions. The first experimental color television was shown in London in 1928, based on Adamian’s tricolor principle.[1] He is recognized as one of the founders of color television.[2]  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hovhannes_Abgari_Adamian 

  3. Almost 3,000 Years
    Actually, being almost a 3,000-year-old nation, the inventions by Armenians are proportionally much less than of most other nations. We have less than 100 major inventions; so let’s not be so ‘full’ of it.

  4. Hovhannes (Ivan) Abgari Adamian
    Thanks Mark. The Adamian connection actually makes sense. My childhood lesson in color tv history (such as it was) probably occured around the time when Adamian’s remains were being moved to the Pantheon in Yerevan.

    But,Rupen Cathodovich Avedisian, namesake of RCA? Very clever… and for a minute you had me Googling him and RCA! 🙂

  5. Wine and Gonyag

    When historian Xenophone, student of Socrates, wrote ”Anabase”, relating the expedition of 10,000 Greek soldiers to Asia Minor in 401 B.C., he described the Armenian population that lived in underground houses and drank wine and gonyag. He complimented these spirits. I presume these spirits were invented by Armenians thousands of years ago. At the Yalta meeting (1945) between Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin, British prime minister asked for Armenian gonyag. Today the factories in Yerevan, which produce these spirits, have been acquired by the French. 

    M. Bouldoukian

    1. To dear Mgrdij
      Dear Mgrdij,

      Only one fctory, the "Ararart" has been acquired by Ricard Pernot. Others are Armenian owned such as "Noy", "Mane", etc.
       

      Best rgds,
      G.P.

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