Coffee with Ahmet and Mehmet (4)

Jirair Tutunjian, Toronto, 9 November 2011

(Ahmet and Mehmet are having coffee in a café at a remote Anatolian town. Ahmet is scanning the newspaper.)

Mehmet: Sabah Khayeer…. Sorry, I meant Gunay Sun. With all the events of the past 24 hours, you must have a lot to read in the newspaper.
 

Jirair Tutunjian, Toronto, 9 November 2011

(Ahmet and Mehmet are having coffee in a café at a remote Anatolian town. Ahmet is scanning the newspaper.)

Mehmet: Sabah Khayeer…. Sorry, I meant Gunay Sun. With all the events of the past 24 hours, you must have a lot to read in the newspaper.
 

Ahmet: Subhaan Allah … Our Allah certainly works in mysterious ways. The Europeans and the Ermenler forced Erdokhan to fix that gavoor church ruins in Akdamar. And what happens? A few months later the earthquake destroys the church. Divine justice, arkhadash.

Mehmet: But more than 600 our people died in the earthquake.

Ahmet: They don’t count: they were Kurds. They got what they deserved.

Mehmet: You are in a bad mood this morning. What’s the matter?

Ahmet: Did you hear about the new Ermeni trick? At tourist places these gavoors are selling T-shirts with the words “Armani Empire” on them. The judge gave a stiff sentence to the three traitors wearing the Emporio Armani shirts. My neighbor says there’s another Italian T-shirt on sale. It says Eremenegildo Zegna on it. Let’s see who dares wear it in Turkey.

Mehmet: That friend I mentioned to you … the one who has Internet. He says ‘ Emporio Armani’ means Armani Emporium. Emporium means department store in Italian. It has nothing to do with Armenian Empire.

Ahmet: They’re playing with words. I never trust Italians. Mussolini was a braggart; not like Hitler. Hitler reminds me of Erdokhan. Both with mustaches; both jailed for their ideas; both good public speakers; both said that woman’s place is at home. Both artistic too: Hitler painted; Erdokhan writes poetry.

Mehmet: Seems you’ve been reading about Hitler.

Ahmed: I just started reading “Kavgam.” I think its German name is “Meen Keyf.” I see where some of the ideas of our own Grey Wolves came.

Mehmet: Grey Wolves ideas are Turanic… racial superiority ideology built the Ottoman Empire. Maybe Hitler got his ideas from our Turanic philosophy.

Ahmed: I wouldn’t be surprised: so many of our leaders went to German military academies. They could have taken our racial ideas to Berlin. After “Kavgam” I will read “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.”

Mehmet: You are in for a treat. For months that book was the best-selling book in Turkey. It tells you all about the Jewish conspiracy to rule the world. Talking about the Grey Wolves, last night I again watched “The Valley of the Wolves.” It must be my third or fourth time. What production! What acting! No wonder it was the most expensive Turkish TV production ever.

Ahmed: I watched it, too. Remember the scene where Jewish organ traffickers cut out the liver of the murdered Iraqi to sell it in New York?

Mehmet: I can’t decide which one I like more… “Metal Storm” or “Valley of the Wolves.” Our film people can teach those Hollywood Jews how to make a good movie. My favorite scene is where the Turkish hero destroys Washington with a nuclear bomb. Compared to him, James Bond is a child with a toy gun.

Ahmed: Please don’t tell this to anyone … I am thinking of joining the Grey Wolves. Erdokhan pretends he doesn’t like them, but we know better. The Grey Wolves are our best chance to restore the Turanic Empire and bring back old Islamic laws. I’m fed up with those homosexual “White” Turks of Istanbul who go to the ballet and who want us to join the European Union.

Mehmet: Once in power, the Grey Wolves will bring shariah law… and then away with the women’s rights nonsense.

Ahmet: With Grey Wolves in power, honor killings will end because women will know their place. The veil will become mandatory. No more looking like prostitutes… provoking men and then complaining when men try to sample what these immoral women advertise.

Mehmet: How will you join the Grey Wolves? Aren’t they a secret organization?

Ahmet: My butcher, Mejit, is a member. He will sponsor me, I’m sure. I’m buying a lot of meat from him…I stopped eating potato.
Remember my potato diet to support Turkish trade with American potato exporters? I am as patriotic as anyone but I was putting on weight eating potato for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Mehmet: Damn. Because you are coming over for dinner tonight, I told Khatoon to prepare potato dishes. Please don’t tell her you have stopped eating potato: she would nag me all night long. I can’t wait for shariah to be restored.
 

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