Triple-cross à la John Le Carré

Courtesy: TikTok @ yamaka1

By Garcia Wilde, Miami, 1 November 2023

One day in early October of this year, a group of music-loving Palestinians living in the balmy Gaza Strip overlooking the blue Mediterranean, learned from Kol Israel radio there would be a music festival, called Re’im, in the southern part of Occupied Palestine, aka Zionia or Israhell. In fact, the festival would be held close to the towering Israeli walls which had been erected to guarantee privacy to the Palestinian refugees of the Gaza Strip. Being fans of the show’s stars (Astral Projection and Man With No Name) and their psychedelic trance music, they were eager to see their favorite singers but were discouraged because of the Israhelli wall. Since the wall was dotted by countless cameras and sensors, and fringed by miles of barbed wire and billion dollars’ worth of U.S-gifted weapons, the Palestinians dismissed the dream of attending the unprecedented event.

Then, one of their leaders (Abu Ass’ad) said perhaps there was a way his Palestinian pals could attend the musical event. He would talk to Commander Avi Cohen Bar-Levi who was in charge of the wall which protected, at great cost, the idyllic Gaza Strip from desert storms and swarms of African locusts. Since Bar-Levi knew Abu Ass’ad, he agreed to meet.

The Palestinian leader, like all Palestinians, knew the favorite cuisine of Israhellis is Arab dishes–hummus, falafel, kebab, tabouleh, baba ganouj, pita, tajneh, and zaa’tar. Abu Ass’ad, who had learned how to sweet-talk in the bazaars he had worked since he was a teenager, proposed to the Commander if he allowed ten Gaza music fans attend the festival, Cohen’s inner circle would be regaled with a One Thousand and One Nights banquet the day of the festival.

Cohen told Ass’ad it was an impossible proposal. The latter suggested to Cohen he could vacate his aerie and take his “cabinet” some miles north for a few hours to allow the ten Palestinians to attend the festival. By the time the Zionia storm troopers returned from their foodathon, the Arabs would have returned to their Gaza villas. Negotiations went on for a while. Abu Ass’ad told the Commander that he and his friends were particularly eager to attend the festival because its theme was friendship, love, and infinite freedom. After making several phone calls, the Commander agreed.

Upon his return to Gaza, Abu Ass’ad told his group about the deal he had made with the Commander. His friends congratulated him. In the next two days their wives and daughters got busy preparing dozen different Arab dishes.

But there was a flea in the ointment. One of Abu Ass’ad’s followers told a friend about the unprecedented agreement. The friend told his friend who told his friend… Eventually, twenty-five outsiders learned about Abu Ass’ad’s coup. They immediately decided to take over the plan and subvert it. They would attend the festival not to listen to music but to kill as many people as possible. On the eve of the festival, they raided the building where Abu Ass’ad and his friends were celebrating their upcoming attendance of the festival. Abu Ass’ad and Co. were captured and held in underground tunnels below the desert sand.

Next morning, the armed conspirators—riding motorcycles, powered para-gliders, trucks, and donkeys–headed to the open gate and to the festival where they killed 270 people, many of them with dual citizenship: Brazilian-Israel: German-Israeli, Chinese Israeli…Indian Israeli…Italian Israeli.

Although they were living a leisurely life in a place whose climate is the envy of Riviera denizens, they couldn’t control their murderous impulses. They presumably attacked because of Israhelli occupation of their land. They had innocently assumed the world would support their efforts to liberate themselves from the racist Zionia regime. They didn’t know that although Turks had occupied the Middle East and the Balkans for five-hundred years and had viciously mistreated the occupied people, including committing genocide, no head of state had condemned the brutal Turkish occupation of the Middle East, Armenia, and the Balkans.

The attackers didn’t know another fact: Bar-Levi had reported Ass’ad’s proposal to his superiors who had immediately reported it to Prime Minister Netanyahoo. The latter had convened an emergency meeting which Mossad and Shin Bet heads had attended. They agreed Abu Ass’ad’s proposal was manna from the sky. Through their cutting-edge electronic listening devices Shin Bet knew of the twenty-five saboteurs’ planned attack. The plotters agreed was the best excuse to drive out Palestinians from Gaza by carpet bombing. The Israelis killed at the festival would be martyrs. Their death would be small change to justify Zionia to empty Gaza through carpet bombing, and annex it as southern Israhell.

Bombs away. Geronimo….Jeremiah.

2 comments
  1. …And while the world watches, the zionia continues carpet bombing the Palestinians from pre1948 Palestine proper. Palestinian Arabs who were forced to take refuge in camps in the Gaza Strip. The end, to take over the Strip, seems to justify the means.

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