How to Qualify for the Globe’s No. 1 Job

By Serop Stepanian, Toronto, 6 March 2024

Millions of Americans and billions abroad believe the president of the United States has the toughest job in the world. They believe so because the so-called mainstream media repeats the canard almost every day. In fact, the presidency is a four-year vacation compared to the crushing responsibilities of the leaders of Haiti, Bangladesh, Sudan, and practically any leader of a Third World country.

Not only the job of the U.S. President doesn’t require breaking into a sweat, in fact the requirements of the job are a cake walk. Here are the ten major responsibilities of the White House resident:

  1. He should have a platoon of skeletons in his cabinet which would make him susceptible to blackmail by the Deep State, including the Pentagon, Black Rock, and the Zionist lobby.
  2. Be able to read the teleprompter convincingly.
  3. Not suffer from insomnia but instead be able to sleep at the drop of a hat.
  4. Know the difference between Bangladesh and Bolivia, Palm Springs and Palm Beach, Britain and England, the leader of Egypt and of Mexico.
  5. Have hair.
  6. As soon as getting elected, go around to raise money for the next election four years away. This is the ideal time to make false promises…the delivery of universal Medicare, the banning of the National Rifle Association, and upgrading the country’s collapsing infrastructure.
  7. He should be able to convincingly autograph his “autobiography” written by a ghostwriter. The latter would be identified as researcher-fact checker.
  8. He should be able to walk and chew gum at the same time.
  9. Spend a large chunk of the day with architects, engineers, interior designers, and real estate developers going over the blueprints of his presidential memorial library which will house his papers after his term expires.
  10. Be awake every morning by 7 to take scrambled phone calls from Israel’s Benyamin Netanyahu who will give him talking points in case the presstitutes of the so-called legacy media toss the usual soft-ball questions at him during “exclusive” interviews.

All in all, an agreeable sojourn at an oversized mansion called White House where a staff of several hundred is at the president’s beck and call 24/7.


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