Stupidity, Thy Name Is Yerevan

Avedis Kevorkian, Philadelphia, PA,  10 July 2013

Word has reached me–and, others in the Diaspora, I am sure–that the idiots in Yerevan have sat down and discussed 2015 and have come up with their plans to mark the centenary of the start of the Armenian Genocide.

They have agreed that Turkey should commit suicide.

Avedis Kevorkian, Philadelphia, PA,  10 July 2013

Word has reached me–and, others in the Diaspora, I am sure–that the idiots in Yerevan have sat down and discussed 2015 and have come up with their plans to mark the centenary of the start of the Armenian Genocide.

They have agreed that Turkey should commit suicide.

It would appear that Armenia is going to demand that “compensation must be given to the heirs of the victims of the Armenian Genocide, the Armenian Church should recover the miraculously preserved churches and holdings, and Armenia should recover its territories.”

There is nothing about the recognition of the Genocide, so, presumably, Turkey will have done that.  Or, from the language of the document, that step is not necessary because sufficient number of people have said there was a genocide, “so let us go to the next step.”

I see the fingerprints of the Dashnaktsutyun (hereinafter, the ARF) on the new policy, since the ARF still harbors guilt feelings for having “lost” the first Republic and still thinks that Armenia belongs to it.  But, let us not wander into that rabbit warren.

The thought that Turkey will pay “compensation to the heirs” is so asinine that no comment is needed, but, as you obviously expect, comment will be made.  Since there are few survivors left, after 98 years, let us go to the next generation.  Many of them have died, as well.  So, how far down are “heirs” to be determined?  Since my father is dead, will Turkey come to me and say, “Mr. Kevorkian, we consider you an ‘heir’ and so are prepared to offer you compensation.  We will pay you $10,000 for your father’s father, $9000 for your father’s mother, $8000 each for your father’s two brothers, $7000 for his sister, $6000 for the family dog, $5000 for the family cat, $4000 for the family hamster, $3000 for the family canary.  I am sure that you will agree that that is more than fair, so please sign on the dotted line, and expect our check in thirty days”?

But, No.  According to the document, I will have to go to Ankara, establish my bona fide as the son of an “heir,” after, of course, establishing my father’s bona fide as the son of deceased residents of Chunkoush, and then we would negotiate an agreed fee. If that fails, then I must go through the various appeals procedures–in Turkey, then in Europe.  But, it is good to know that good old Yerevan is in my corner.

I will make no comment on the matter of Yerevan’s demand that Turkey return the “miraculously preserved churches.”  How Turkey is to do that, isn’t clear, but Yerevan feels that its role is to come up with the ideas and for others to execute them.  And, to use any form of the word “miracle” suggests Divine Intervention, and if the condition of the the churches whose photos I have seen are in “miraculous” condition, I would hate to see what Satan would have done with them had he been called upon to act on behalf of the Turks. 

But it is the matter of returned lands that is the stupidest idea from Yerevan, since the idea that Armenians are capable of running an honest government.  I am sure that the oligarchs have already partitioned out the parts of any land that the Turks are expected to return.  But, since that day will never come, let them yearn in vain.

Before proceeding, let me dispense with another idiocy in the announced plans.  I refer to the use of the words “territorial integrity” of Armenia–presumably, the idiots mean pre-World War I Armenia, that is that part that was in Anatolia.  For Armenians to use the words “territorial integrity” is like discussing the strength of various kinds of rope in the home of a man who has been hanged.  Aren’t the Armenians denying the Azeri right to “territorial Integrity” in refusing to recognize the independence of Artsakh, and indicating that it is the “principle of the self-determination of peoples” that applies? 

So, if the Azeri claim to “territorial integrity” is invalid in Azerbaijan, how can an Armenian claim that “territorial integrity” of a non-existent country (there was no State of Armenia during world War I), be valid? 

Which brings us to the idea that Turkey is to divest itself of the lands in eastern Turkey (which some Armenians are now calling “Western Armenia”) more or less along the lines of the defunct Treaty of Sèvres and the “Wilsonian Armenia.”  Would not the Turks, no doubt stifling a smile (or is that smirk, I see?) ask, “let the principle of the ‘self-determination of peoples’ apply as you want in Artsakh”?

Let us ponder the slight problem of the returned lands.  What is to be the fate of the Turks (and Kurds, come to think of it), living there?  Are they to be “ethnically cleansed”?  Try that in this 21st century.  Or, more simply, kill them all, after all genocide is a handy tool which the Turk, themselves, developed in the area.  Well, no, not that either.  Ah, well, make them all Armenian citizens. 

Those of you out there with good memories know what is coming as we wander down this twisted lane.

Turkey gives the land back.  Armenia inherits 20-million Turks and makes them citizens.  At the next parliamentary elections, the new citizens vote as a Turkish bloc and elect a majority Turkish party into the Armenian National Assembly.  Then, at the following presidential election, the Turkish-bloc candidate sweeps the boards, and Armenia now has a Turkish president and a Turkish-dominated National Assembly.  And, a Turkish-Armenian member of the National Assembly moves that Armenia be dissolved and absorbed into the Republic of Turkey,  The measure is approved by the Turkish majority and signed by the Turkish president, and lo, and as the man said, “behold,” there ain’t not no Armenia left!

“Well, no.  We will make the new Armenians second-class citizens with no right to vote.”  Sorry, that won’t work.

“All right, then, let them vote the way they want. We will count the votes the way we want.  After all, we have had good practice doing that.”   It might work, but I doubt if the world will accept that.

So, the misbegotten idea of the Armenians pursuing the “return of Armenian lands” makes about as much sense as a dog chasing an automobile.  It wouldn’t know what to do if it caught the automobile.

In the meanwhile, the very real possibility of enough world pressure growing to get the Turks to recognize the historical fact of the Armenian Genocide is forgotten–and the souls of one-and-a-half-million dead still seek their rest.

All because a political party, like its members, which did Armenia no good in the 19th century, no good for Armenia in the 20th century, and persists in doing Armenia no good in the 21st century, refuses to live in the real world.

As the 20th century’s greatest philosopher, Pogo, said: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”


  1. Clarification Requested

    Dear Mr. Kevorkian,

    To which Yerevan unauthorized or authorized statement or document are you referring to? Did the ARF in Yerevan make a statement?

    The position of the ARF has hardly changed over the past 90 years and they are working on what Mr. Manoyan calls a platform to be ready in one or two months. I just returned from Armenia and I am not aware of any authorized statement or position of the government of the RA.

    However, working groups were established with the mandate of formulating a political and legal document to be reviewed by institutions of the RA and Diaspora organizations.

    Could you clarify the sources of the information included in your article?

    Best regards,

    Souren Seraydarian


  2. Stupidity in Yerevan

    On Monday, a friend in Yerevan sent me the report that ". . .a pan-Armenian forum of lawyers organized by the Ministry of the Diaspora Armenian Prosecutor-General Aghvan Hovsepyan made a sensational statement." The quote I used is from the "statement."

    I assume that if it is public and if it was sent to me, others must have received it. Apparently, it is the first official statement by the Armenian Government, under the assumption that the "Diaspora Armenian Prosecutor-General" is part of the government.

    As to the role of the ARF, since the statement seems to repeat the oft-expressed views of the ARF, I make the jump to it influencing the "pan-Armenian forum of lawyers." If I am wrong, and if the ARF joins me in stating the utter stupidity of this statement, I will gladly apologize.

    Avedis Kevorkian

  3. Toumanian’s Geegos

    Dear Avedis Kevorkian,

    Why don't you read one more time Hovhannes Toumanian's "Կիկոսի մահը"?

  4. Stupidity (Cont.)

    Since I don't have a copy of it, perhaps you would be kind enough to digest it and send it, along with a note on how it is relevant to my original discussion.  


    1. Stupidity Continued


      I believe Zrutsakits (chat buddy) made reference to  "Կիկոսի մահը" to derive an analogy in perpetuating for a fact what was once someone’s figment of imagination. Having said this, I would like to pose the following question to you: isn’t reparation compensating the heirs of the survivors of the Genocide? I believe it is, but not in the manner of the lone claimant you described.

  5. Stupidity (Cont.)

    After several re-readings, I have failed to understand just what Vahe is trying to say regarding compensation” and “reparation.”

    The report that was sent to me made no reference to what–if anything–Yerevan was going to do to pursue the “demands” on Turkey that the group of lawyers decided were legitimate. There was no indication that Yerevan was going to do anything more than state or list the demands.

    The report did quote “political scientist Ara Papyan who is head of the Modus Vivendi center (whatever that is) who “. . .attached great importance to the statement. . . .”  (He was the one who made the ill-conceived reference to “Armenia’s territorial integrity.”)

    According to Papyan, the report states, “. . .heirs of victims [of the Genocide] should turn to Turkish courts, and if their suits are rejected there, then further seek justice at the European Court of Human Rights.” Presumably, Papyan and the lawyers will hold the jackets of the heirs who are urged to do the fighting. In another bit of helpful “you do the fighting” advice, Papyan suggests “a suit should be filed with the UN International Court of Justice regarding the border between Armenia and Turkey.”  Apparently, Papyan’s “modus vivendi” does not include devising “a temporary working agreement or compromise between disputants, pending a settlement of the differences,” which is how “modus vivendi” is generally interpreted.

    By the way, did you know that after the U. S. Senate refused to ratify the Treaty of Lausanne, President Calvin Coolidge used the principle of “modus vivendi” to establish relations with Turkey?

    But, back to the Yerevan idiocy. I am not a lawyer, but it is my understanding that only residents of Turkey or those Armenians who have the title deeds to the family property can bring a case against Turkey in the European Court of Human Rights. Whether, as I “suggested” in my original essay, an “heir” can establish his bona fides in Turkey that would have any meaning in Ankara is a color of another horse.

    What is important (and let this be my last comment on the matter: I do have another life besides ducking all the shots at me instead of the idiocy from Yerevan) is that Yerevan and, apparently, Papyan’s Modus Vivendi center, will do nothing except come up with “demands” and issue supportive statements and urge the “heirs” to do what the country will not do.

    Until the Republic of Turkey says, in effect, “Yes, as the natural successors to the Ottoman Empire we acknowledge that there was a deliberate Genocide of the Ottoman Armenians and we are now prepared to listen to claims for compensation…” I suggest that Armenians world-wide pursue other activities.

    Avedis Kevorkian

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