The Servant Who Knows His Master

“The Khoja and the Eggplant”

By Lucine Kasbarian, Satiricon, August 2009


Analyticon.org, an Armenian political affairs magazine is published in Stepanakert.  Their print version is in Armenian, while the online publication offers articles in Armenian as well as English and Russian translations. Keenly aware of the serious nature of political jockeying, the editors have decided to produce a political satire issue for the summer, called Satiricon,  where many writers in Armenia and Artsakh have written candidly and humorously about current affairs. Lucine Kasbarian is one of the contributors. An illustrated Armenian folktale retold by  her will be published next year.

Analyticon relies heavily on the financial support of readers in Artsakh, Armenia as well as the Diaspora. Readers of Keghart are encouraged to support Satiricon and its parent Analyticon.org to continue the vital tradition of Hagop Baronian, Yervant Odian, Saroukhan and Khigar, to name a few. – Keghart

“The Khoja and the Eggplant”

By Lucine Kasbarian, Satiricon, August 2009


Analyticon.org, an Armenian political affairs magazine is published in Stepanakert.  Their print version is in Armenian, while the online publication offers articles in Armenian as well as English and Russian translations. Keenly aware of the serious nature of political jockeying, the editors have decided to produce a political satire issue for the summer, called Satiricon,  where many writers in Armenia and Artsakh have written candidly and humorously about current affairs. Lucine Kasbarian is one of the contributors. An illustrated Armenian folktale retold by  her will be published next year.

Analyticon relies heavily on the financial support of readers in Artsakh, Armenia as well as the Diaspora. Readers of Keghart are encouraged to support Satiricon and its parent Analyticon.org to continue the vital tradition of Hagop Baronian, Yervant Odian, Saroukhan and Khigar, to name a few. – Keghart

The President of Armenia, Serzh Sargsyan, was often a guest at the court of the famed wise man and spiritual leader, Nasreddin Khoja.

One day following their meetings, President Sargsyan was commanded to stay for supper, where khash was served.

“This is my favorite dish!” proclaimed the Khoja, “I love nothing more than khash.”

“Quite right, Effendi,” said President Sargsyan to his host, “Khash is the greatest delicacy in all the world!”

Weeks later, the Armenian President was again commanded to stay for supper, and again, khash was served. The Khoja flew into a rage. He called out to his wife.

“Once was bad enough! Why did you again prepare this infernal dish when I am entertaining such an important guest? Don’t you know how much I hate khash?”

The Khoja looked to President Sargsyan as if expecting a response.

“I could not agree more, Effendi,” said the President “I, too, hate khash. It is the vilest dish in the world.”

“But President,” said the Khoja, “Weeks ago, you said khash was the greatest delicacy in all the world!”

“Quite right, Effendi, I did,” said the President. “But I am the servant of your Eminence, not of the khash.”


Other contributions to Keghart by Lucine Kasbarian

Top Twenty Tall Turkish Tales
Pari (Ch)desank, Yovanovitch
Armenia: Yesterday, Today, and Maybe No Tomorrow


Cartoonist: Alvard Grigoryan

Ծառան, ով ճանաչում է իր տիրոջը
 

Translator to Armenian: Anna Galstyan

Հայաստանի նախագահ Սերժ Սարգսյանին հաճախ հյուրընկալում էր հանրաճանաչ իմաստուն եւ հոգեւոր առաջնորդ Նասրեդին Խոջան:

Մի օր նրանց հանդիպումից հետո Սերժ Սարգսյանին առաջարկում են մնալ ընթրիքի, որի ժամանակ խաշ էր մատուցվելու:

-Դա իմ նախընտրած ճաշատեսակն է,- ասաց Խոջան,- խաշից առավել ես ոչինչ չեմ սիրում:

-Իհարկե, Էֆենդի,- պատասխանեց Սերժ Սարգսյանը,- խաշը լավագույն ճաշն է աշխարհիս երեսին:

Շաբաթներ անց Հայաստանի նախագահին կրկին հրավիրեցին ընթրիքի, եւ կրկին խաշ մատուցվեց: Խոջան բարկացավ: Կանչեց իր կնոջը.

-Մեկ անգամը լիովին բավական էր: Ինչու՞ ես այս դժոխային կերակուրը նորից պատրաստել այս կարեւորագույն հյուրի համար: Չգիտե՞ս, թե ես ինչքան եմ խաշն ատում:

Ապա Խոջան նայեց նախագահ Սարգսյանին, կարծես նրանից սպասելով ինչ-որ արձագանք:

-Ես համաձայն եմ Ձեզ հետ, Էֆենդի, ես նույնպես ուղղակի ատում եմ այդ կերակուրը: Այն աշխարհի վատագույն ճաշն է:

-Բայց, նախագահ,- նկատեց Խոջան,- մի քանի շաբաթ առաջ Դուք ասացիք, որ խաշը լավագույնն է աշխարհում:

-Միանգամայն ճիշտ է, Էֆենդի, ես ասել եմ դա,- պատասխանեց,- բայց ես Ձերդ Գերազանցության ծառան եմ, այլ ոչ թե Ձեր խաշի:

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7 comments
  1. Love this
    It’s been so long we haven’t heard stories like this! We really miss them.

    It reminds me of Esope’s fables (Yezovpos in Armenian) and the story of cooked tongue as the best and worst meal…

  2. Aesop and/or the Khodja

    "Once when Xanthus’ wife left him after a quarrel,  Aesop won her back with his wit.  Upon her return, Xanthus gave a feast for the leading philosophers of Greece and entrusted Aesop to make the preparations.  When the guest sat down to eat, they found that each dish was a tongue of some sort.  

    Angrily, Xanthus demanded an explanation.  Aesop innocently replied, ‘You ordered me to make the best provision that I could think of for the entertainment of these excellent persons.  As the tongue is the key that leads to all knowledge, what could be more suitable than a feast of tongues for philosophers?’  

    Xanthus, pleased with laughter of his guests,  invited them to dine with him the next day.  And he asked Aesop, since he was set on contradictions,  to prepare the feast of the worst.  ‘We shall see what that shall be.’  Again all the guests were served dishes of tongues.  Aesop explained to the angry Xanthus that, ‘Was it not an evil tongue that caused a break with your family? Was it not a soft tongue healed the breach? The tongue is at once the best and the worst entertainment.’"

    — From "Aesop: Ancient Fabler and Storyteller"

    http://www.duboislc.net/read/Aesop/Aesop.html

     

  3. Thrown out of the window

    If the author is trying to say that President Sargsian will take anything that Turkey has to dish out – that is, that the foreign policy of President Sargsian toward Turkey is weak and deferential, then I could not agree more with her.  

    The Armenian Foreign Ministry is outclassed by Turkey too.  Imagine any Armenian leader agreeing to establish a historical commission with Turkey to determine whether the genocide occurred.  Sargsian just threw decades of hard work by the Armenian people out the window.  This is what we get with rigged elections.  Not that I can think of any better candidate.  When will Armenia get a leader worthy of its people?

  4. A limerick for a traitor
    There once was a gremlin named Serge

    Who thought Turkey and Armenia should merge
    But he underestimated the people
    Who impaled him on a steeple
    Now, 6 feet under, nobody sings him a dirge.
     

  5. Nobel Peace Prize for Gul & Sargsyan?

    The denialist website, "History of Truth," speaks of suggesting the nomination of these tyrants to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. Amen kulkhou maz michev hima chenk petdadz?

    How much more do we need to hear before we organize worldwide protests?

  6. The age of fables

    Why has the age of fables been overlooked? Fables are classic stories that highlight important and weighty topics such as political aspirations, moral dilemmas, and ethical quagmires in an easily digestible and spreadable format – they are the original forms of viral marketing.

    – Mr. Murs, HPU

  7. I could not agree with Lucine

    I could not agree with Lucine Kasbarian more, as Serzh and Nalbandian are both ready to sell our interests, be it our liberated lands in Artsakh,be it western Armenia, be it our mother language for foreign schools, this President and his team are a bunch of corrupt crooks ready to serve their foreign masters, or else their dirty dossier will be leaked to the world by his masters. They smell from their head.

Comments are closed.

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