To Bee or Not to Bee

By Jirair Tutunjian, Toronto, 3 June 2024

 “World Economic Forum (WEF) orders governments to burn millions of bees living to usher in global famine.”—The Peoples’ Voice (25/5/2024)

HER MAJESTY EMPRESS APIS: Welcome Your Majesties Queen Bees of our globe girdling communities. As head of the 2 trillion global bee community, I thank you for taking the time and for flying from all corners of the planet to attend this emergency summit to defend our community against mass murderers.

We are facing perilous times, even extinction, unless we take prompt action.

As you know, the Davos-based WEF and its leader Klaus Schwab have ordered our extermination. The 2,500-member WEF, which comprises of the world’s political and financial elite, want to drastically reduce the globe’s human population of 8 billion. Because through pollination we help create a great deal of the food humans consume, the WEF has ordered governments around the world to incinerate every last one of us.

Beekeepers around the world are reporting that government officials are visiting farms and destroying healthy bee colonies without testing for the disease they allege.

We were hoping humans, whose intelligence quotient is slightly higher than ours, would ban WEF. I am sorry to say they didn’t even try. Environmentalists and farmers also failed because their governments are conniving with the WEF. In the past year some states, whose leaders are puppets of Herr Schwab, have taken steps to make it hard for farmers to operate.

Rather than depend on the kindness of strangers and hope humanity would come to its senses, we have decided to be pro-active and pre-emptive. Yes, we have to attack our enemies before they incinerate us.

Are there any questions? Are you in agreement with me? (Her questions are met by a flurry of multicolored wings flapping signaling approval.)

The next WEF conference is scheduled for January 2025 in bee-youtiful Davos, Switzerland. Our plan is to invade the gathering and neutralize every last WEF member.

QUEEN BEE-ATRICE OF AMAZONIA: But January is the worst time to be in Switzerland. We would die like flies in the sub-zero temperature.

EMPRESS APIS: Bee yourself, everyone is taken. Our executive department is aware of that obstacle. We are sending millions of killer and vulture bees to Alaska, Norway, Sweden, and Finland to acclimatize and to mate with the local bees. They will give birth to a breed of aggressive bees who will not be fazed by the Alpian frost.  We are calling them usb.

Our attack will be in three massive waves. Think of Battle of Britain’s aerial formations. The first wave will have 10 million drones. Their job will be to create shock and awe, and confusion among the Dom Perignon set. Think of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds or The Great Gadz-bee. While the drones create bedlam, waves of five million killer bees will get into action. They will swoop down on the snobbish and spoiled global elites and poison them with deadly stings.

As the half-dead, $5,000 suit-wearing WEF brats crawl out of the conference hall, they will encounter millions of vulture bees. These carrion bees feed on rotten meat. Their habitat is in the Amazon basin. The vulture bees, using their mighty mandibles will tear off the flesh of the people who seek our demise. Sorry to be gory… they enter cadavers through eye sockets.

Mission accomplished, our millions of fighting bees will fly to Hamburg where they will hijack a cruise ship and sail to the United States. Upon the ship’s arrival in New York, they will head to the global headquarters of Woke Inc. There they will take executive action with extreme prejudice against the pestilential group.

Bee-live me that will not be the end of our intrepid army’s mission. They will fly to the countries whose leaders were acolytes of Herr Schwab. We will nor release the names of these leaders so as to attack them when they least expect.

QUEEN HONEYSUCKLE: How are we going to respond to woke allegations that we are a murderous community?

EMPRESS APIS: I am glad you asked. Killing in self-defense is no vice. Our marketing-PR department has already printed folders which explain the threat humanity was facing and how we eliminated the threat. Taking a leaf from Israel’s propaganda book, we are hiring professional PR people to expose Herr Schwab as a homicidal charlatan.

QUEEN POLEN-ASIA: What are we going to tell the government of Switzerland about the hillocks of WEF corpses?

EMPRESS APIS: We wound remind them that since they accommodated the psychotic WEF by hosting them in Davos, they are technically accomplices of WEF. If they persist in condemning us, we will threaten them with our killer and vulture bees:  No more Omega watches, Lindt chocolate, Swiss Army Knives, and Zurich gnomes. We will raise our flag atop Jungfrau…the flag with a bee at its center. You might recall Emperor Napoleon’s flag was the bee, a symbol of energy and hard work.

QUEEN SYLVANUS: We have also heard of Waterloo.

EMPRESS APIS: You’re with us or against us. Let’s hive-five. To bee or not to bee, that is the question. Bee-live me when I say our expedition will forever live in ark-hives everywhere.


  1. Most entertaining, imaginative, allegorical article that reminds us of Yervant Odian. Bravo, Jirair. Perhaps next time about Pigs in South Caucasus?

  2. Thank you, Avedis. Re “Pigs in South Caucasus,” look for “Flight of the Dictator” in the upcoming issue of “Keghart”.

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