The Lost Tribe is Still Lost

By Garcia Wilde, Miami, 5 March 2024

Ancient Greece’s religious figures such as Zeus, Athena, and Aphrodite have been acknowledged, for centuries, by the Greeks and everyone else as mythological figures. So have Jupiter, Janus, Juno and a host of other Roman gods. For some obscure reason, the Hebrew mythological figures are considered solid historical characters by devout Jews. Consequently, the Hebrew Bible is a history book, according to Zionists who deploy it as a God-given real estate deed to justify their theft of Palestine.

The Hebrew Bible has characters as hard to visualize as the Greek and Roman gods. According to the Hebrew Bible, Abraham’s wife, Sarah became pregnant at the age of ninety. Methuselah lived 969 years. Six other Hebrew Patriarchs (Jared, Adam, Noah, Seth, Kenan, and Enos) lived a total of 5,469 years. Since life is unfair, poor Patriarch Mahalalel lived a measly 895 years. Does Guinness Book of Facts know about these remarkable longevity records? Shouldn’t diet food promoter Jenny Craig investigate the diet of the above paterfamilias? Then there is Jonah who spent three days in the belly of a big fish (not a whale) until he was upchucked by the beast which must have suddenly decided to change its diet. The Russians believe the first astronaut/cosmonaut was Russian. The fact is the first astronaut was Elijah. He soared into the heavens riding a chariot drawn by horses which were on fire.

One of the persistent myths of the Bible is the story of the Lost Tribe of Israel (always in capital letters.) The tale goes like this: Of the twelve tribes of Israel ten were exiled from the Kingdom of Israel by the Assyrians when they conquered the Holy Land in 722 B.C.

Since then, tons of ink has been spilled to discover what happened to the exiles. The search obsession intensified in the 7th Century C.E. when some religious mavens linked the return of the Lost Tribes to the coming of the Messiah.

Since then, small armies of fabulists, folklorists, occultists, amateur genealogists, snake-oil peddlers, wishful thinkers, pseudo-scientists, and hucksters have identified at least ten nations as the Lost Tribe of Israel. Among them are the Assyrians. How the people who conquered the Kingdom of Israel became the Lost Tribe of Israel is a mystery.

Christopher Columbus thought the “Indians” of the Caribbean were the barbarized descendants of the Ten Lost Tribes. In 1644, when marrano Antonio de Montezinos returned from the New World, he said in the Quito Province of Ecuador he had met Israelites who lived secretly, deep in the interior of the territory. Six years later, he published the full account of his discovery–The Hope of Israel–in Spanish and English. The book persuaded Oliver Cromwell to re-admit Jews to England.

There has also been an effort to link an Ethiopian tribe to the Lost Tribes. In addition, half-hearted efforts have been made to identify Germans, Scandinavians and even the Japanese as the Lost Tribe.

The Mormons are yet another group vying to be descendants of the Lost Tribes. Their Article of Faith says: “We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion will be built upon this [the American] continent.” These fantasies had serious consequences for they created a bond between the Mormons and the Israeli fascists who are committing genocide in Gaza.

A few years ago, a Canadian documentary film maker produced a film where he claimed the Afghans are the Lost Tribe. He based his conclusion on the similarity of place names in Afghanistan and in Palestine. However, the most persistent claim to descent from the Lost Tribes comes from the English. The ideological founding father of British Israelism was John Wilson (d. 1871). Wilson conceived the idea that the English were the true descendants of the Lost Tribes. Wilson traipsed across Britain lecturing on the topic. One of the more hilarious assertions of Wilson was that the name “Britain” derived from the Hebrew word for covenant, brit. Wilson also claimed the word “Cossack” was a corruption of the Hebrew goi-izak. Wilson’s hallucinations convinced many Britons that Britain should possess Palestine. Forty-three years after Wilson’s death, the British Army, led by Gen. Allenby, did just that when it conquered Palestine and soon after illegally and surreptitiously handed Palestine to Zionist colonists.

It’s amazing that after 2,800 years, the world is still in the dark about the fate of the Lost Tribe …until recently that is, when a Palestinian in the West Bank discovered a 3,000-year-old parchment in a cave. It is the oldest record about how God promised Abraham of Ur the land of Canaan.

The parchment’s content will up-end Abraham’s story about God’s offer of the milk and honey Promised Land.

It’s an acknowledged fact that tired or bored scribes who copied tomes of manuscripts sometimes misspelled the words they copied. The 3,000-year-old parchment the Palestinian found said God had promised Abraham the LAND OF CANADA…and not Canaan. In other words, metrosexual and diversity-wear fashionista Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is the head of the Land of Milk and Honey.

Any day now, expect war criminal Benyamin Netanyahu to land in Ottawa with his retinue of blood thirsty war criminals and demand the keys to the Prime Minister’s official residence. Should Canadians expect to see Uzi-flashing kibbutzim prance up and down Main Street Canada? Will the Mounties wear yarmulke? Will poutine and maple syrup be replaced by latke and Manischewitz wine? Will the country be blanketed with blood-soaked Israeli flags? Will Canada declare that from sea to sea, the U.S. belongs to Canada, eh?

  1. Sir, you do not believe in the veracity of The Old Testament but thousands of Armenians do. This greatly saddens me as the majority of your articles are worth perusing.
    Your mocking of The Old Testament also mocks The New Testament which is the rock of Faith that Armenia is based upon. In this way you mock the Armenian worthies who fought for their Christian faith against the Parthians and you mock also the hundreds of thousands of Armenians who remained faithful to Jesus with their dying breath during the ottoman period and on in to the present time.
    Why do you do this Sir, why do you mock the very foundations of the Fatherland ?
    I had an Armenian Great-Grandfather Manouk Papazian who together with his Greek wife were murdered by Turkish irregulars in Mersina, Cilicia.
    My Papik [ Grandfather] Nicoghos Papazian changed our Armenian name to the Greek equivalent after safely arriving in Alexandria , Egypt with his Armenian and Greek relatives.
    I now live believing in the truth of Armenia’s cause but by your mocking Sir , you destroy the very basis for our existence as a Christian land.
    Nicholas John Papadopoulos [ Nicoghos Hovannes Papazian ] , Auckland ,New Zealand.

  2. The fable of the tree of knowledge, the talking snake, Noah squeezing a pair of dinosaurs, a pair of rhinos and hippos in the ark, the burning bush which talked, and Christ’s resurrection and ascension are but a few examples which prove the mythological nature of the Bible. These tales were created by good and intelligent people to help us make sense of the universe and to teach us how to behave.

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